Fiction || Tamanna

Sitting on a bean bag in her balcony, soaking in the winter sunshine while sipping a cup of green tea, Tamanna told me all about her journey to success. Tamanna, which means 'wish', is a well-known name in Surat (Gujarat) today, as she's the most authentic "match-maker" available.

"Authentic match-maker?!" I wondered until I met some of her clients and heard them describe it all. Tamanna's matrimonial match-making company "Rishtaa" (meaning relationship) helps parents find the perfect match for their daughters. Yes, the match-making service is available ONLY for women. Strange!

Peeping at her LinkedIn profile, I observed that Tamanna was a topper at University of Delhi and has an MBA from the prestigious IIM Ahmedabad to her credit. Then how did she end up doing match-making in Surat?! More importantly, why?

Asking her all these questions, the first response that I got was a smile. And then, she opened up.

Tamanna was born in a middle-class conservative Punjabi family in Delhi. Brought up in the central Delhi area of Inderpuri, she was an average student and the aim of her life, and of everyone associated with her, was to get her married to her prince charming one day. 

As it is with middle-class conservative families, people around her were obsessed about how she looked & cooked, more than how she studied, as that would affect the kind of 'rishtaa' she would get. The prettier she is, the easier it'll be for her parents to find her a groom. As a result of this thought process, Tamanna was being groomed since her teenage. She was a pro in the kitchen and was regular with all the gossiping that generally house-wives do. In one line, she was brought up in such a manner that she was prepared for a future revolving around her marriage, and she was totally cool with it.

When Tamanna's friends at school mocked her for not studying and for being a brat, for the first time in her life, she took things to her ego and ensured that she studied well in her Grade 12 exams so that she could get admission in a "good college" at University of Delhi.

"Thank God those girls at school almost bullied me for I wouldn't have been here today," she smiles in reminiscence.

With immense pride, she enrolled herself into the Economics Honors course at Delhi University's Hindu College in 2004. So overwhelmed was she of her achievements, and so pleasantly shocked was her family, that after the enrollment everyone decided to give studies a break and shift their focus back to Tamanna's grooming.

"And then the hunt began," she said quietly. Her voice suddenly turned matter-of-factly so that she could hide all the emotions behind the story. 

At an age of 19, when students generally wonder what to do in their career or discuss issues with their boyfriends/girlfriends, Tamanna was skimming through photographs of prospective grooms.

"What about your studies?" I asked.

"The fact that I was studying in Hindu College was more than enough for my family. They were completely OK if I didn't study at all," she said.

Surprised, I asked, "What about your friends? Didn't anyone ever encourage you to focus on your studies?"

"Nope. You see, I never had the 'focus on studies' kind of environment around me. For everyone, life was just like a Bollywood movie - nice and happy. Everyone stayed in their own world and no one ever thought of giving life a thought," Tamanna said.

"What then?" I asked.

She took a sip of her green tea and continued.

One day, her mother came running home beaming with joy. When asked about the reason for her happiness, her mother exclaimed that she had found the perfect rishtaa for her daughter. The boy being talked about (prospective groom) was a Canada based businessman. He was a Punjabi, like Tamanna's family, and was the only child of his parents.

"Punjabis get a high if their daughter gets married to a guy who's the 'only child' as this means that there'll be no debates regarding money/property/ children with any of his siblings. Hence, the daughter would have a 'tension-free' life," Tamanna explains.

Since the guy had given an advertisement in the matrimonial section of the newspaper mentioning that he was in India for only two weeks, Tamanna's mother had taken the initiative of inviting him and his family for dinner that very day. Tamanna's father was miffed about working around at such a short notice but the mother convinced him.

Evening came and the boy entered their household. "He was 24 years old, 6 feet tall, fair and extremely handsome," Tamanna recalled. The prospective groom was well-behaved and touched the feet of Tamanna's parents as a sign of respect, in sync with the Indian culture. "His behavior swept me off my feet," Tamanna said. As all Punjabi parents do, food was piled on the poor guy's plate but he did not complain. He was witty and very quickly became comfortable with Tamanna's family. By the time the dinner was over, everyone in Tamanna's family, barring her father, loved him and wanted to fix the match there and then. Tamanna's father, however, decided to hold on to his horses and take time to know the boy's family, his business and other credentials. He invited the boy, with his family, for lunch the following day.

Next day, the guy was at their doorstep again; this time with his family. By this time, Tamanna's family was relaxed as they knew that things were almost in place. When the parents interacted and got to know more of each other, Tamanna was given whole 30 minutes to spend time with him in private, officially.

"So what did you talk about in that half an hour?" I quizzed.

"Not much. He was so handsome and charming that I barely spoke to him. I was in awe of him and we kept smiling at each other all the time. I was happy because I felt that I had reached my final destination in life," Tamanna said.

After lunch, the guy showed his passport and documents showing the status of his Canadian citizenship to Tamanna's family and even left a copy of those documents with them 'in case they wished to verify'. He gave a day's time to Tamanna's family to think and decide about the rishtaa.

As with the parents of an Indian girl, they thought that verifying these documents "won't look nice" and they refrained from it. In the evening, Tamanna's father called the boy at the hotel he was staying (a 5 star hotel, which made the family hyperventilate) and confirmed the rishtaa.

Next day, the guy and his family were at Tamanna's house again. All of Tamanna's friends and relatives were invited for the 'roka', a Punjabi ceremony whereby everyone is introduced to the new member of the family and the matrimonial alliance is fixed.

"Three days later, I got married at the Arya Samaj temple and was off for honeymoon in Manali the following day," Tamanna told me.

My mouth fell open. I was amazed at the lightening fast speed with which the events unfolded. I was bewildered at how the alliance was fixed. I wondered what would've been Tamanna's state of mind then. And more than anything else, I was still puzzled because I didn't understand what was she doing in Surat, when she should've been (as per her story) in Canada.

Tamanna continued, "Ten days after I had met this guy for the first time, I was married to him and we were even done with our honeymoon. Back from Manali, he dropped me at my parents place for a day so that I could collect all my documents for my visa to Canada. In the mean time, he said that he'll arrange the appointment and will pick me up in the evening. 

But he never came!" she said quietly.

She continued, "My father called at the hotel and was informed that he had checked out four days ago. Since cellphones were not that common that time, we couldn't reach him anywhere. The numbers of so-called relatives that we were given were fake. His parents had left for Canada, the day we left for our honeymoon. My father tried calling them in Canada to inquire about their son but those numbers too turned out to be fake."

The family was shattered. Initially, they thought that their son-in-law was in trouble but when the Canada numbers turned out to be fake, Tamanna's father trembled with rage. Tamanna continued, "I still remember that day. The photographer in the neighbourhood had delivered my wedding pictures on the day of my arrival from honeymoon. During evening tea, my mother and I were merrily looking at those pictures and were shortlisting the ones that I would take to Canada with me. Of them, there was a picture of Jeet, my husband, that we decided to get framed. My father picked up that photograph and ran to the police station. Initially, he thought that he would file a missing complaint. But when on reaching the police station, he was told that all the documents whose copies Jeet had left with us were fake, he filed a case of fraud against Jeet along with a missing complaint."

The family didn't sleep that night. After a lengthy discussion with the cops, the family realized that they had been conned and that this was a serious case of fraud. When Tamanna's father expressed his concern about Tamanna's future, the cops declared that since the marriage was not legally registered, Tamanna was not legally married to Jeet, who she claimed to be her husband. Hence, the question of a divorce or annulment of marriage did not arise. Hence, legally, Tamanna was still single and unmarried.

However, as per the Indian customs and rituals, Tamanna was married. Also, Tamanna had lost her "virginity" and this meant that she would be considered as "impure" by everyone. (In the Indian society, virginity is over-rated.) Tamanna's mother cried non-stop for her daughter wondering who would marry her next.

At that point of time, Tamanna had two questions in her mind - Why? Why her? She didn't cry that night and not for the days that followed. Everyone around her pitied her, sympathized with her and asked her all kinds of questions. She was totally lost because her support system, her family, had collapsed. For the next three days, neither did she eat, nor did she sleep. On the fourth day, she became unconscious due to weakness. After some glucose, she was given medicines to make her sleep. 

"And when I woke up," Tamanna said, "it was a new morning. I shut myself in my room and thought about myself. I was 20; I was studying but not studying; I was married but not married. I realized that I was living a life which was a combination of opposites or rather, a life that had nothing. And then I tried to look at the whole scenario rationally so that I could first, answer my two questions and later, answer the question that was on my family's mind - What next?"

In silence and peace, Tamanna realized that Jeet had not vanished due to a tragedy. Instead, he was gone because that was a part of his plan. Why did he do all this? What did he want? Just to sleep with a 20 year old innocent girl?! No! In the entire episode of Tamanna's marriage, he didn't just get all the love & blessings from Tamanna's family, but he also got all the gold and money that Tamanna's family gave him. Her family had given their entire life's savings to this man. To add to that, they had even given him their daughter. Disgust for Jeet grew in Tamanna's heart.

Next question, "Why Tamanna?"

While answering this question, another question popped up in Tamanna's mind - Was it only her? Was it the first time that this man had duped a family using a matrimonial alliance? Clearly, the answer was "No". If a man could con her family with ultimate ease, this would've definitely not been the first time this would've happened. And then Tamanna sat down to wonder how many other girls would've undergone the suffering that she was facing right now. She shuddered at the thought of being able to perform such an action regularly in one's life and destroy the lives & emotions of many people only for money. She felt disgusted at the thought of considering innocent girls, like her, as a piece of use and throw trash. And then, to answer her family's question, she decided to not end up marrying some other guy out of "society's pressure". She decided to change everything!

For the first time in those four days, Tamanna sat in the center of her living room and cried her heart out in front of her own family. To every person who tried to pity her, sympathize with her or even console her, she pointed a finger and told them that all that had happened to her was NOT her fault. She felt frustrated at how throughout her entire life, everything revolved around her marriage and she shamelessly vented out all her frustration on each one who tried to sympathize with her.

And then she stopped. In front of everyone, she took off her wedding bangles, wiped off her vermillion (sindoor) and declared herself single again. She wiped her tears and swore that she will show everyone what it means to be Tamanna.

"So what did you do then?" I asked her.

She smiled, "I picked up my bag and went to college to make up for all the classes that I had missed all this while."

"And what did you say to everyone who asked you about your marriage?"

"I laughed on the rumours of my marriage and declared that I was on leave due to typhoid. You see, I wasn't married legally," she winked. "For the rest of my academic year, I studied my ass off. As a result, I ended up topping the entire university. Though my younger brother was glad that I had moved on in my life, my parents were still iffy about my future. Though I didn't blame them for all the mess but I did maintain that had they been more practical and not thought of 'log kya kahenge' and 'achha nahin lagta' ('what will people say' and 'doesn't look nice'), my life would've been different. But on a reflective note, I was happy that I had learnt the lesson of my life albeit the hard way. I had stepped out of that cocoon, become practical and ferociously serious about my education in my opinion, that was the only way I could break free from the shackles of my society."

After successfully completing her bachelor's in economics, Tamanna went on to do her MBA from IIM Ahmedabad with a full scholarship. Thereafter, she started with 'Rishtaa' in Surat. Listening to her story, I understood that since 'Rishtaa' was a word that was constantly used around her, she chose that name for her company. 'Rishtaa' targets middle-class families looking for appropriate grooms for their daughters. The USP of 'Rishtaa' is that for each bachelor in their database, the team at 'Rishtaa' performs a background check and presents only the verified information to the families interested in an alliance for their daughter. With the details of the background check, including medical check-ups checking for HIV and STDs, and a check of astrological details, parents are able to trust 'Rishtaa'. By word of mouth, the popularity of 'Rishtaa' spread and in a span of four years, 'Rishtaa' has become a brand name in Surat. Taking a step back, I realized how the strategy of 'Rishtaa' completely fits the picture of Tamanna's life and why she chose to set up 'Rishtaa' started making sense to me.

"But why Surat? Why not Delhi? Why not your own neighbourhood?" I wondered.

"I had to start somewhere! When I entered Gujarat six years ago (in 2007), I was glad that I was away from Delhi, the place that houses my family and all the other relatives. I was happy that I was free and was in my own space. In two years, during my MBA, I settled down in the atmosphere in Gujarat and hence, decided to start it all here. My best friend at IIM was from Surat and she always used to talk about this city. So one day, I just packed my bags and came here," she chirps.

"Didn't you face any problems while setting up 'Rishtaa'?" I asked.

"Don't ask about problems. In a male-dominated society, the whole idea of preparing a file for each groom and getting a background check for marriage sounded horrendous to people. People thought that I had gone mad and treated me like an outcast. I kept mum because I knew what I wanted to do and was focused to make the change. Every time I felt low, I thought of all the other girls, like me, who Jeet had cheated and then I would stand up with a determination which was firmer than earlier. After successfully arranging about ten alliances, people started opening up to the concept of 'Rishtaa'. Getting a good rishtaa for their daughter is the tamanna of every family. As I had anticipated, families of daughters queued up but there were no grooms who were interested in giving their details to 'Rishtaa'. For the interim, 'Rishtaa' ended up being a background check center. People would hear about all kind of alliances and would come to us to get a check on the groom done, for their satisfaction. Since no work is big or small, our team gladly accepted those offers. As our credibility grew, our database started growing as demand created its own supply."

Smiling at the success of Rishtaa and admiring Tamanna for her focus, I'm reminded of a question of hers that she didn't answer in her entire story. "You had often wondered, 'why me'? What answer did you get of that?" I asked her.

"I'm glad you asked me that," she said while looking out towards the horizon, "Had it not happened to me, 'Rishtaa' wouldn't have been born. And now, with 'Rishtaa', there will never be another Tamanna in this country."

Review || Citi

As promised, here comes a post on Citi ...

I started banking with Citi when I got my first job because my first salary account was with Citi. As soon as my 'Savings Account' started with them, I took up a Citibank Indian Oil card as the card promised tempting fuel rewards and I was planning to buy a car.

The Initial Impression:

Citi is high-fi! The moment you enter into Citi's system, that's the feel that you get. They prefer their customers to do online/tele banking in place of banking in person, not that they have a problem if you come to their branch, just that their preference is different.

With time and relationships, my experience with Citi kept changing.

Banking experience (Online):

Their online interface contains a button for every possible option that a user may choose. Though the interface is not pretty, it is very useful.

One thing that I've heard works very well for people, but sadly that never worked properly for me, was syncing credit cards with savings accounts.

Next, off late, the interface contains new 'Offers' and emails in an 'Inbox' which are basically ideas to promote new products. These are not disturbing but are not very pleasant to look at either. Nevertheless, the whole (online) banking experience is not bad.

Customer Service:

5/5

Be it getting an add-on credit card or closing an account, there is no 'chik-chik' with the Citi guys. Whatever you wish to do, just select the corresponding option on their online interface. In case it is not available, a 'Query' can be dropped to them or they can be called. The TAT for customer requests and/or queries is short.

Sometimes, I've heard people complain about procedures. Let's face it, every organization and more so, every bank has a certain procedure. Following processes is not bad. What is bad is using the label of 'processes' and delaying things unnecessarily. Luckily, I haven't faced such a situation with Citi yet.

Points Redemption

Citi offers points not just for credit cards, but also for transactions (as per quantity & currency volume) on the Savings Account. The only condition with these (account) points is that they lapse when the financial year ends. For the credit card, thankfully, points get accumulated. Since I have an Indian Oil Credit Card, I must say, I'm extremely happy for I get a fuel surcharge waiver at every Indian Oil petrol pump and I can conveniently redeem my credit card points for free fuel. The best part about points redemption is that it is super quick - Just drive in to an Indian Oil petrol pump authorized for points redemption (check the list on Citi's website), give your card and ask the helper to redeem your points.

USP:

If you choose the language 'English' for Customer Service, then the executives know how to speak in English. Jokes apart, Citi Privileges enable you to get 15-20% discounts at various eating & shopping outlets. Citi has a tie-up with certain merchants due to which the customers get extra points on every swipe.

Bad:
As mentioned earlier, Citi is high-fi. For most of the accounts, a high deposit is required. So Citi banking is not meant for a regular, middle-class person like me.

Improvements:

Though the current situation of the online interface is not bad, we could do with some improvements in its look & feel.

My Special Feature:

The security system of Citi. Whenever you try to set or change an IPIN, the system does not allow you to use any of the previous 6 (or may be 10) passwords. The setup is quite strict as one always has to use the virtual keyboard. I get extremely irritated whenever I have to change my IPIN, primarily because I can't think of an IPIN which can be easily remembered yet is cryptic enough. Despite this, I prefer to use Citi because the whole setup makes a customer feel safe.

My Special Moment:

45 days prior to the expiry of my card, I received an email from Citi asking me to confirm my residential address so that they can send me the new card on that address. I don't know how many days in advance does RBI ask banks to have a correspondence with credit card customers, but I was extremely happy to see an organization work with planning & time management.

Review || Why I regret taking a StanC card?

My mother and I are regular customers of Lifestyle and Auchan ("pronounced as O-shaan"). Hence, we opted for an Inner Circle Membership. One day, we received a mailer wherein Standard Chartered bank was offering a credit card having a tie-up with Inner Circle (of Landmark Group) wherein, the customer was offered 3 times the points we usually get besides other discounts. Out of temptation, I applied for this card and this is a decision that I have been regretting ever since I received this card.

The Initial Impression:

Within minutes of clicking the link, "Click here to apply", I got a call from their customer service desk, despite the fact that it was a Sunday. Within a couple of hours, the verification calls were done and within 2 days, the documents had been collected. I was impressed by their swiftness, only to realize that this swiftness is a salient feature of the Sales department, unlike that of the Customer Services.

The Bads:

1. Since the initial click, I had maintained that I wanted to apply for two cards - One for myself and second, an add-on card, for my mother. I was delivered my card but the add-on card didn't come! Considering it to be a 'usual human error', I dropped a note to their email address informing them about the non-receipt of the card. Result? No response! Only after 3 emails, including one accusing them of false promises & scaring them in the name of Consumer Forum, did the card get delivered at my home.

Ironically, I received a reply on one of those emails 3 months after the delivery of the card, quoting the courier number and mentioning that the card had been received. Good Morning guys!

2. Though their online banking interface is fancy, if you don't have a savings account with them, then you'll be stuck like me. I had a card and wanted to make a payment using 'other bank account' but I couldn't find the link. After numerous searches and reloads did I realize that the "Pay Credit Card bill using other bank account" link exists on the Home Page only. So either you grab the opportunity of paying the bill without looking at the online statement or keep looking. If I have to describe the experience in one word, "uncomfortable" is the word that I would use.

3. Add-on card: Normally, if we have a primary card, say Card A and an add-on card, say Card B then we receive one bill containing transactions for both. StanC prefers to split the bills. It is acceptable, albeit not my style, because there would be lot of customers who would like it this way. However, I'm quite sure that customers won't prefer to pay for each of these cards separately. I mean, I have to make separate payment transactions for Cards A & B. Seriously?!

Since I was unaware of this, I made a total payment (Card A due + Card B due) against Card A (the primary card). And then I received the "statement" flashing a minimum amount due against the add-on card. My reaction? #Facepalm

4. Points redemption - Ah! The reason why I took this card. So when I took this card, I was told that I'd be granted Inner Circle membership if I didn't have one. In case I was an existing Inner Circle member, my membership would be linked to my card. Thus, I believed that all my points are going in my pocket. And then I was proved wrong. My credit card has been mapped against someone else's Inner Circle Membership number and both, StanC & Landmark Group are playing the Cong-BJP like blame game, i.e. StanC blames Landmark Group for the error and vice-versa. End result? I cannot redeem my points at a Landmark outlet.

But hang on, did I have points? Both Inner Circle and StanC follow a rolling policy, i.e. they lapse your points after a year. Let me explain this further. If I make a transaction on 15 Jan 2012 and get 100 points for the same, say, then on 16 Jan 2013, these 100 points will get lapsed and would automatically get deducted from my points balance.

My reaction? Thank God others don't follow this policy!

Since reporting about the wrong mapping of Inner Circle ID with credit card required numbers and other details to be quoted, I dropped both, StanC credit cards & Landmark Group an email. The auto-response of StanC is that the email will be responded to within 7 business days but I know that I won't get a response within that much time. Honestly, I don't even expect a response now. I'm so tired of all this that I want to pay my latest bills and get rid of this credit card. Also, I've stopped shopping at Lifestyle and want to get rid of their "Gold" membership too.

Whenever multinational companies invest in India, they cash in on the brand they have/build but they forget a critical factor - Customer Service. I, personally, consider the customer service of StanC and Inner Circle as BAD, primarily because I have seen the opposite end - Citi/HDFC and the Future Group. I'm sure people would've had their share of bad experiences with them too but till now, luckily, I haven't got an opportunity to rant about them.

The Goods:

Yes, everything has a good part and so do these guys. The online interface, in general, is nice (I hate to say this but the look & feel is better than Citi's interface).

Since this was my first co-branded retail card, I quite liked the entire concept of tying up with a retail major and offering membership & discounts, etc.

Lastly, I applaud their Sales team for being extremely quick & efficient.

PS - Separate blog post for Citi & HDFC to come up soon.

Personal || My Chhote

Dated 16 Feb 2012, dedicated to my younger brother.

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Chocolate sa hai woh meetha
Churan sa hai woh khatta
Baat-baat par muh phulata hai
Apni Shruti Di ka puchka

Dhoondhta hai mere liye
pyaare-pyaare naam
Dil se, pyar se karta hai
Jo bolo woh kaam

Thuki battery wale smartphone mein
jo rakhta hai video of Shiela
woh hai apni Kolaveri Di ka
laal-kaal-peela-hara-neela

Concert ko kharab yeh
hone nahin deta
Volleyball ke liye hamesha
tayyar hai rehta
Kahani hai iski
thodi meethi, thodi khatti
Main hoon iski laddoo,
yeh hai mera mathi!

Khane ka hai bada shaunk
Dal-bhaati mein laga do chhaunk
Tweet karne ka inko hai chaska
Pasand hai Sassi ka aloo-bun-maska

Papad jaisa ukhda hai
Dil se maum ka tukda hai
Andar se hai bada natkhat
Masoom sa iska mukhda hai

Chemistry se hai bada pyaar
Coding se hai iski takraar
MTP jaldi karne ki koshish
ho jaati hai hamesha bekaar

Dead-end, dead-end yeh hai karta
Classical music pe yeh hai marta
Karta hai mera intezaar chup-chaap
Itna sab to yeh bandi ke liye bhi nahin karta! :P

Kabhi-kabhi jo le aata hai meri
Aankhon mein aansoo mote-mote
Mera janeman hai jo
woh hai mera chhota sa chhote

Sochi nahin thi jitni utni
Ho gayi yeh friendship divine.
Yeh hai mera shona
and I'm his sunshine!

Philosophy || Inspiring indeed ...

In the midst of hate, I found there was, within me, an invincible love.
In the midst of tears, I found there was, within me, an invincible smile.
In the midst of chaos, I found there was, within me, an invincible calm.
I realized, through it all, that…
In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer.
And that makes me happy. For it says that no matter how hard the world pushes against me, within me, there's something stronger – something better, pushing right back.
- Albert Camus

Travel || New York 02 - Layout of the city

Contrary to popular belief, New York City is NOT the capital of the state New York. Instead, its capital is Albany.

The state of New York is bordered by the US-Canadian border in the North. Popular cities in the state are Buffalo, Rochester, Syracruse, Utica, Albany (of course), Queensbury, Troy and New York City. Staten Island & Long Island are also a part of the state of New York.

Popular names that one gets to hear when one is in New York city - Long Island, Staten Island, Coney Island, Brooklyn, Manhattan, Queens, Flushing, Long Island City, Bronx, Jersey city, Edison, etc. We'll talk about them all, one by one.

New York city is a combination of many small cities. The area of New York city which is famous for the tall buildings is Manhattan. Crossing the bridges on the lower side, there is Brooklyn. On taking a ferry from Manhattan, one reaches Staten Island. Travelling towards the Northern side, one reaches Bronx, while traveling in the East (after crossing East River), one lands up in Queens. One arrives in Jersey city once one crosses River Hudson.

All the cities in United States have an uptown (upper area of the town, higher in altitude), midtown and a downtown. The downtown area is the happening place, while uptown area is more peaceful. People staying in midtown, get to enjoy the best of both the worlds. Point to be noted - The downtown in Manhattan is different from the downtown in Brooklyn, which is further different from the downtown in Queens. Confused? Expected.

In this post, I'll be talking mostly about Manhattan coz for me that is the actual New York city! I know I'm being biased, plz bear with me for that one.

The entire New York city has areas represented by avenues and streets, i.e. if you wish to go to a place, you'll be told the street number and the avenue number, and that's how you find it. Initially, the avenues range from one to six. However, as you go up, with the variation in the land area, the number of avenues increase up to 12. When we look at the map, we observe, that the streets are horizontal, while the avenues are vertical roads.

Before I start talking about avenues, I should brief you about the streets.

Broadway: The most popular street of New York which, by the way, is like an avenue because it goes vertically up. Post 10th Street, Broadway goes on in an oblique shape and takes a turn near 204th Street. Broadway goes on till outside New York city and ends up mergining into Albany Post Road, after becoming a state highway en route. The street numbers become important if we go up in New York, primarily because numerous streets in downtown have names and in the big lot, the numbered ones get a little lost. However, 4th street is something unforgettable because near this street is the campus (open) of the famous New York University.

The avenues, midtown onwards (post Central Park), are not numbered. Instead, they are called by specific names:

6th Avenue - Lenox Avenue

9th Avenue - Columbus Avenue

10th Avenue - Amsterdam Avenue

11th Avenue - West End Avenue

If you look at the map of New York, you'll observe that both Broadway, and 4th Avenue are in an oblique shape, i.e. they are not straight. Post 14th Street, 4th Avenue becomes Park Avenue.

23rd Street onwards, two new avenues spring up adjacent to Park Avenue - Lexington Avenue, between 3rd and Park; Madison avenue, between Park and 5th. All these avenues, barring Amsterdam Avenue and Broadway, get terminated when they meet Harlem River Drive. Post 160th Street (approx), there is Amsterdam Avenue and Broadway. Post Cross Bronx Expressway, St Nicholas Avenue comes into existence, between Broadway and Amsterdam Av. (Av is commonly used for Avenue .. short form!)
This avenue business is never ending and I think I'll put a stop to this here.

Commonly heard areas in NYC are - Battery Park City, SoHo, NoHo, Tribeca, FiDi, Upper West Side, Lower East Side, Chinatown, Little Italy, East Village, Meat Packing District, Theatre District, Harlem, Morningside Heights, Washington Heights, etc. Of these areas, SoHo stands for South of Houston Street, NoHo stands for North of Houston Street, Tribeca is the name for the TRIangle BElow CAnal Street, and FiDi stands for Financial District. The other names genuinely represent areas (cities/counties) and have no short/long names.

Battery Park City, as the name suggests, houses Battery Park. If you wish to visit the Statue of Liberty or Governor's Island, Battery Park is the place you need to be.

NoHo and SoHo are near the East/West/ Greenwich Village and all these areas are popular hangouts. All these areas are a part of the downtown area. SoHo is a shopping destination and is quite expensive.

Chinatown, as the name suggests, houses a lot of people of Chinese origin along with fabulous Chinese restaurants. Little Italy has a story, similar to that of Chinatown, albeit the Italian version.

FiDi, i.e. Financial District, has the popular Wall Street and World Trade Center, along with the 9/11 Memorial.

The Meatpacking district/Chelsea area used to have lot of meatpacking factories earlier. These factories have now been closed down. But the name just stuck.

In the midst of talking about streets, avenues and areas, I forgot that I need to mention about all the tunnels and bridges.

So BMW - Brooklyn, Manhattan and Williamsburg Bridge connect Manhattan and Brooklyn. For Liberty Island, Ellis Island and Governor's Island, a ferry needs to be taken from Battery Park City. Holland Tunnel and Lincoln Tunnel have been built below the Hudson river and are to be used if you wish to go from Manhattan to Jersey city. George Washington bridge too makes the same connection.

The roads, bridges and infrastructure of New York is endless and can't really be described. All this is something that is to be witnessed. So I guess, I'll end my post here. I hope you, my reader, got a teaser of the layout of the city.

Poetry || Dr Kumar Vishwas

I was always fond of poetry. I preferred Hindi poetry over English (though I know that many people would be surprised to hear this), because Hindi was my language and I could really feel the poetry every time. But as happens in our 'busy' life and race for success, Hindi poetry's charm faded off.

And then, suddenly one day, I heard "Koi Deewana Kehta Hai ... " by Dr Kumar Vishwas. Hearing it, I knew in an instant that my trigger for Hindi poetry will be back and my urge would be satisfied if I listen to this guy. And mind you, if I 'listen' and not just read. It is human psychology that we tend to remember those things more that we hear, in comparison to those that we read. Besides, Dr Vishwas, in my opinion, is a brilliant orator. 

Watching one of his videos on youtube, I couldn't resist but make a note of a couple of his proses:

Na paane ki khushi hai kuch, na khone ka hi kuch gham hai

Yeh daulat aur shohrat sirf kuch zakhmo ka marham hai

Ajab si kashmakash hai roz jeene, roz marne mein

Mukammal zindagi to hai, magar poori se kuch kam hai

Badalne ko to in aankhon ke manzar kam nahin badle

Tumhaari yaad ke mausam hamare gham nahin badle

Tum agle janam mein humse milogi tab to manogi

Zamane aur sadi ki is badal mein hum nahin badle

Koi khamosh hai itna, bahane bhool aaya hoon

Kisi ki ek tarannum mein taraane bhool aaya hoon

Meri ab raah mat takna kabhi ae aasmaan walon

Main ek chidiya ki aankhon mein udaane bhool aaya hoon

Pukare aankh mein chadhkar to khoon ko khoon samajhta hai

Andhera Kis ko kehte hain ye bas jugnu samajhta hai

Humein to chaand taaron mein bhi tera roop dikhta hai

Mohabbat mein numayish ko adayein tu samajhta hai

During his programme, he quoted Tanveer:

Meri aankhon mein mohabbat ki chamak aaj bhi hai

Halaki usko mere pyaar pe shak aaj bhi hai

Naav mein baithkar dhoye the haath usne kabhi

Poore talab mein mehendi ki mehak aaj bhi hai

(Full poem is here)

I also agree with what he said - 

Kisi ko dekhne ke liye ek pal kaafi hai

Use pasand karne ke liye ek din kaafi hai

Use janne ke liye ek saal kaafi hai

Par us ek chehre ko bhoolne ke liye ek zindagi chhoti hai

Travel || New York 01 - The Journey (Back & Forth)

While in line to check-in to my United Airlines flight (UA 083), I came across one of their officers who requested me to 'volunteer' to take the next UA flight as their flight was full (read overbooked). Initially, I was shocked to hear something as outrageous as that, but later, my shock turned into amusement. Anyway, since I was heading to New York due to ‘urgent’ client meetings, I couldn’t reschedule my flight and ended up boarding the same UA flight that I had booked.

I was flying on the night of a Sunday and my flight was scheduled to land at Newark airport in the morning of the following Monday at 4 am. The departure of the flight, due to reasons unknown to me, got delayed by about an hour and we ended up departing around midnight.

If you are a traveler who doesn’t get sleep while flying, same pinch! The longest flight that I had had, before NY, was the direct Air India flight to London which lasted around 10 nightmarish hours, primarily because I can’t even nap when I’m flying, forget about ‘sleeping’.

So here I was in the economy class of a flight, sitting between a punjabi girl, who had a US Green Card, and some guy who, like me, was on an official trip. Trying to catch sleep, I decided not to turn on my ‘in-flight entertainment’ albeit I ended up watching ‘Agent Vinod’ from the guy’s screen on my left and ‘Think Like a Man’ from the girl’s screen on my right. After a while, they both fell asleep, like most of the passengers on board, and I was awake like an owl. At this point of time, I decided to let go of my decency. I kicked off my shoes (No, my shoes/feet don’t smell!), turned on my iPhone on airplane mode and plugged in my earphones to listen to Pandit Shiv Kumar Sharma’s Raag Hamsadhwani (An Indian Classical piece played on a 100-stringed instrument called ‘santoor’) on repeat. After my iPhone battery gave up, I searched the goddamn in-flight entertainment for soothing instrumental music and was lucky to find some album of Anoushka Shankar. This album, as expected, was played at a subtle volume, on repeat. Result – 6 hours of sleep! (with occasional washroom breaks, of course!)

What happens when you end up getting some sleep while you are flying? No jet-lag! :D

Tip for a flyer who doesn’t get sleep like me: Please make sure you are tired before boarding the flight. And by tired, I mean both, physically & mentally exhausted. This would help you get to sleep in the flight. So what did I do? I walked like an idiot at Terminal 3, IGI Airport with (heavy) a bag full of woolen clothes & documents stuck on my shoulders while talking to all the people I could on my cell phone (Recall the death of my phone’s battery). After 2-3 hours of walking & talking, I was tired. But me being me, I still couldn’t catch sleep. Hence, the music obliged.

Feedback on UA flights: Do fly United Airlines if you get a chance. Their flight is expensive but I loved it! My flight was supposed to last around 16 hours and as I mentioned, our departure got delayed by an hour. By the time the runway got cleared, we were 1.5 hours late. However, kudos to the pilot coz the flight arrived right on time! Yes! Ask an Indian who has been a passenger with Indian Airlines and he/she will really understand the feeling of being in such a flight.

Food: Anyway, about the food, UA makes you hog. We were served dinner at midnight, which to my surprise, had some local food coz we were served fried idli along grilled chicken! J We were served breakfast before our arrival, along with tea/coffee. We were also given a packet containing a vegetarian sandwich (an aloo tikki burger), a small pack of munchies (Taka-tak), a chocolate (Dairy Milk!), a pack of cookies and a bottle of water. Alcohol is available, but you have to pay for it using your card, i.e. no cash transactions!

In-flight entertainment: Honestly, I didn’t bother. I was interested in finding some instrumental music and/or a comedy movie, and I found them both – Anoushka Shankar and The Three Stooges. I’m happy.

Journey Back

I had to board Emirates flight no EK0202 from John F Kennedy airport and my friends were kind enough to drop me there. Since I had already ‘checked in’ via Internet, I was part of a small line where I was given an actual boarding pass. The funny thing that happened with me is that I thought that 23*2 means that I am allowed to have 2 baggages, weighing 23 kilos each, i.e. I thought that each of my baggage would be weighed individually and it would be checked if they both meet the criteria. However, both my baggages were put together and the total weight was checked. Facepalm! I had increased the weight in my hand baggage for the fear of exceeding the limit in individual baggage. Thank God they didn’t weigh my hand baggage though :P

There are times when people get offended without any reason. I experienced this on my flight to Dubai. When I was trying to stuff my back-pack in the overhead bin, I found that someone’s cardigan was spread across half the over head bin. When I pushed it aside and accommodated my bag, the lady got offended (:O), and that too so much that she asked me to return her the cardigan so that she can keep it safely with her (!!). That lady sat on a seat ahead of mine and was probably unaware of the fact that I had my Louis Vuitton never full (which was full that day) and my Nine West coat perched below her seat, adjacent to my Reebok shoes. The reason why I’ve mentioned these brands here is to show that even expensive things have to be sidelined when it comes to space management & traveling, and here someone was worried about a cardigan! Huh!

With a Telegu lady (who lived in Long Island, NY) on my left and a Malayali middle-aged couple on my right, I knew that there would be no room for any conversation and I’ll have to force myself to sleep, all over again! Sigh! So what did I do to sleep? Hehe … This time I found AR Rahman’s greatest hits on the entertainment and, as expected, put it on repeat and slept. Total sleep – 7 hours, I think.

Feedback: The Emirates staff is extremely courteous (and hot, yes). The flights are well-lit. The in-flight entertainment offers a crazy variety in everything. They also give you a brochure of purchases you wish to make using money/miles.

Food: Again, quite a bit to handle. They have proper menu cards printed and offer food according to the destination for which the flight is bound, i.e. the Dubai flight would have continental food and a larger variety of non-vegetarian food than vegetarian. On the other hand, the India bound flight would have Indian dishes in their menu. Alcohol is available, and you don’t have to pay for it. (Yes, free). And luckily, the staff doesn’t have any issues with your nationality, religion or gender, while serving you alcohol.

Stopover: The stopover was in Dubai and I think Dubai International Airport is the fanciest shopping mall I’ve ever seen. I’m sorry but I have no other words to describe it. I observed one thing … All the items that were offered by Emirates (and were mentioned in their brochure) were available at the airport’s duty free shops at the same price, neither more, nor less. I’m not saying whether this is good/bad/new, I’m just saying that I observed this.

Back in Delhi, I faced a bit of melodrama. My brother-in-law, who had to pick me up from the airport, as usual, got late. In the mean time, I picked up two bottles of his requested alcohol from the duty-free shop, while gathering all my baggage & immigration papers. Incidentally, I met my high school Science teacher at the airport. She was waiting for her daughter-in-law & grandson to arrive. After meeting Mom, post lots of hugs & kisses, it was time to head back home with “Dilli ki khushboo” (Delhi’s fragrance) in my nose!

Immigration

Everyone fears immigration officers & counters. Relax! They’re just ordinary people like you and me. It is just that they are in-charge of a serious business and have to be very serious, crisp & observant about the whole thing. This gives them an aura of “no-nonsense” but that doesn’t mean that you have to be scared of them. Greet your immigration officer with a smile and try to feel and try to feel something that has been tested many times off-late, humanity! Come on; try to be genuinely sweet, for a change!

Anyway, I’ll talk only about the immigration check in US because the checks in our home countries and relatively relaxed. So my immigration officer at Newark airport asked me why was I in USA and asked me if my company had made arrangements for my stay. That’s it! He was nice & polite and contrary to popular belief of immigration officers checking/scrutinizing everything, he was concerned about my stay in his country. That is why he wanted to ensure my safety & convenience by ensuring that my company has arranged my stay. People say that things were nice coz I’m a female … May be. I’m glad someone treated me with grace, unlike my own countrymen!

Airports:

Newark – Post immigration check, the passengers need to go down to the conveyor belts to get their luggage. The green/red channels are on the left. Crossing them, straight ahead was the exit to get a taxi, for parking you need to go left and on your right is a Starbucks! I waited here for my friend to pick me up, but that is another story. Oh and in case you require a payphone, you’ll see the arrow there.

JFK – Check-in areas are crowded but the rest of the airport is empty. The security check is a sight, especially if you have Indian passengers coz there are women who refuse to take off their gold ornaments. What’s better is that Indian men also refuse to take off their gold ornaments, and are requested to get in line to be checked using the full body scanner. The departure terminal had limited eating options and ultra-expensive souvenirs.

IGI – Terminal 3 is a fancy shopping area where people sleep on the couches while covering their faces & bodies with shawls & stoles. Immigration counters on arrival are full of confusion despite all the requisite pointers. The alcohol shops are thronged upon for reasons I don’t need to mention.

Dubai – I reiterate: Dubai International Airport is the fanciest shopping mall I have ever seen. It is clean and abuzz with lights & people. Some men of my ‘race’ got surprised to see a single woman walking confidently around but I chose to ignore them, just like I ignore such looks in my own country. The wifi is free and has good connectivity!

The story about UA’s “take the next flight” request:

From what I’ve heard is that United Airlines ends up over-booking their flights on a lot of occasions. In such circumstances, they request some passengers (like me) to ‘volunteer’ to take the next flight. At times, they provide incentives like upgrading to business class, or offering compensation in cash. In case the flight is on the next day, the airline pays for the hotel for the passengers. Since I didn’t volunteer to change my flight, I don’t know if they ever offer such incentives or not! All this about ‘incentives’ is something that I have heard from people and would like to experiment some day ;-)

Travel || New York

Well, initially, I had thought that I'll write a post on my trip to New York. But, now I realize that a trip of 3 months, with all the adventure, cannot be summarized in one blog post.

Hence, I'll be writing a series of blog posts on New York. These would cover the life & spirit of New York, do's & don'ts during a hurricane (Sandy), the New York subway, trip to Niagara Falls, trip to Philadelphia and of course, it'll be an "An Indian traveler's Guide to New York" :P

I hope I'll be able to do justice to the most charismatic city I've ever seen!

Philosophy || A conversation on love

This is a conversation between two friends. Let A be the girl and B be the guy. (I'm sorry, being a mathematician, this style of writing is now embedded in my head)

PS - I always wondered how can anyone get more wisdom by just talking to someone. I always thought that wisdom comes with age or by listening to learned people. But I was pleasantly surprised to see the give & take of wisdom during a simple conversation between two friends.

A: Ek baat bata (Tell me something) ... Do you know the difference between loving someone and being in love?

B: Well .. If in both cases 'love' means love for your romantic waala (ignore the word) partner .. Then for me, there is no difference.

So basically, if I love someone, then I am in love. Same thing for me.

A: Hahaha

No being in love is like sacrifice wala love (Being in love is like you are willing to sacrifice in that love).

Loving someone is like when you care for that person of course. But no magic, no sacrifice. And if there is sacrifice, it is because of responsibility or because the relationship demands it.

When you love, you're upset that the person is hurt.

When you're in love, tumhe dard hota hai jab use chot lage (You feel the pain when he/she is hurt).

Magic, of course, can vary ... Of being in love or of being in a relationship.

Are you getting what I'm trying to say? I mean, the kind of distinction I have in my mind?

I'm not asking you to agree with me. But can you, for some time, believe what I'm saying and try to understand it?

Being in love is ... Ishq wala love! :P ('Ishq' means love but there is a stupid Bollywood song called Ishq wala love, and the same has been used here)

B: Haha

Yes, I know what you are hinting at

A: I wanted to ask you something different from what you're thinking I'm thinking :P

If you're marrying someone you're not in love with, but you love her .. Is that wrong?

B: Basicallly ... Love is love ... For someone love means sacrificing everything for the happiness of other.

A: See, in an arranged marriage, you can't fall in love in a day. And I'm ruling out love at first sight fundas. So all that can happen in an arranged marriage is that you start liking the person, which, by the way, is infatuation. It is a situation when you get sort of attracted to that person, physically or mentally. And by the time you get married, you start caring for each other. So basically, in most of the cases of arranged marriage, couples start loving each other much before they fall in love, if they ever fall in love.

B: You complete first

A: I know I'm being technical here .. But I'm trying to analyze something. And that is that you are probably right ... Dating is when you get to know the person coz if you have to marry someone for whom you have a liking, then no harm in marrying someone whom you are dating.

B: Done?

A: Haha yes.

B: Talking about love, it's like dark, darker, darkest.

Basically, if the color is black then I might say it's dark or very dark, etc. It's how I feel about love that describes it for me.

I am someone who believes that if by letting go of my lover is the best thing for her, then I will do that even though I know I will cry my whole life after taking that decision.

May be someone else in love won't let go because 'he is in love' and can't live without her.

There is no right or wrong in this. It is how you feel about the extent and dynamics of attachment with someone will define 'love' for you.

A: I agree. But, everyone's dynamics are not under our control.

B: Love is so personal.

No one else should ever disclose their dynamics.

So did you find any solution of your question?

A: No

It is just that you can't impose yourself on someone ... So unless both are ok, any relationship would lead to unhappiness.

B: Yawn! Let's continue this some other time.